Posts Tagged ‘insanity’

So, it’s been a minute. I know. Well, I can explain…or at least try to.

See, I’m somewhat of an artist. I have always loved abstract art and eventually started painting , I love to write poetry and even blogs apparently. Just anything expressive.

That was overly simplified as I feel like I’m rushing myself just to post something because it’s been days. Full transparency, as usual.

I realized for the 100th time in my life that chaos and mental illness HELPS me create better artwork, better writing, and better ideas.

So, I suppose there is always a silver lining. I found this hypothesis to be proven over a span of a few days where I really felt lucky enough to be out of the depths of mental Hell.

I have to admit, and this is going to sound absolutely awful and strange …but I felt.. BORED.

Now, is this the borderline in me missing living in familiar chaos?

Was my experience of normalcy ironically causing me to feel abnormal? I can’t explain, but I think you get it.

Now, I would never ever say that I would rather be depressed, anxious, paranoid, obsessive compulsive, overwrought with attention deficit issues, and/or in the depths of borderline hell.

But I will say that I felt so bland, bored , and uncreative to the point of craving some obscurity to be able to get my abstract and creative mind going.

Isn’t that strange? Actually, it’s not.

If you take a look or research some of the most well known and sought after artists, musicians, actors, etc -MANY , ( and we only know of the ones who are/we’re public about their mental struggles) , you’ll find that there is a certain beauty that comes out of a troubled mind.

Be it in lyrics, art, or what have you.

On a final note , I’ve been wondering a lot about actors and borderline personality disorder.

We are natural chameleons, as we don’t usually have a solid identity. So then, wouldn’t being borderline make us naturally gifted in acting/performing? I think upon examination of past and present actors and performers, we’d find a strong link between the illness and very memorable people such as Marilyn Monroe.

Something to think about. Something positive 🙂

Take care ,

Cor

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